


side chick out of your league.

by projectfreelancer



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Cheating, Extra Life stream, F/M, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 09:37:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8745151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/projectfreelancer/pseuds/projectfreelancer
Summary: set during the extra life stream & gavin's thoughts on michael not wanting to kiss him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> title from starboy by the weeknd, but editted for bad words.

Gavin wonders if it’s always been like this, deep down. In between quips of team nice dynamite, behind the scenes of a lingering touch, the secrets of a bedsheet.

What has Gavin ever meant to Michael?

Gavin is the dirty secret. Mutters to himself, “Side chick,” and feels a laugh burn in his throat. This is his epiphany, surely. This single moment on a live stream.

What worth does Gavin have?

Thinks of quick kisses before Let’s Plays. Thinks of drunken touches in bathroom stalls. The way Michael’s hair comes alive when Gavin blushes his hand through. The way Geoff bites his tongue when he catches Gavin’s eyes afterwards. Geoff knows, of course. Gavin is positive Ray does, too. Wonders if they would bite the bullet and execute Gavin. They could have told Meg, they could have told Lindsay, they could snap Michael out of it and he will realize Gavin is worth nothing. 

And that would be the death of him. What does Gavin have except Michael? Michael is some angel who wraps himself in the wings of wrath but coddles Gavin still. Geoff chirps at him, calls him dumb, but Michael knows when the line is crossed. Michael soothes him, hand on knee underneath a desk, and if no one sees, it’s all for the better.

Jack had said before, “Gavin doesn’t have a heart,” and Gavin replied, “I’m working on it.” And if no one knows that he thinks of Michael when he says so, that’s for the better, too.

Yet Michael, in all his glory, could not deny his insecurity. Gavin would never expect Michael to push aside Lindsay, grab him by the shirt, and kiss him in front of thousands of people. Michael could not even kiss him in front of Geoff, or Ray, or anyone. Michael cannot put a blush upon his name. Gavin would blacken his own name for even the idea of everyone knowing whose heart Michael belongs to.

But.

They’re having a _baby_. Michael and Lindsay will be parents. And Michael is nothing but ecstatic. Gavin is a piece of history. Wonders if it’s true that the winners write the history books.

Wonders when Lindsay will publish a memoir of Gavin’s sluttiness; neediness; desperation. Sign it with her own signature and sell it to the presses. Because she knows. Of course she knows. She’s the wife; Gavin is nothing but the dirt of a mistress. Michael gets down on his sinner knees when she accuses him, and begs for her forgiveness— _I know not what I have done._ If Gavin had been allowed to stand by staring at the scene, he probably would have laughed at the man’s desperation and guilt. Would’ve made a crack on how pretty Michael looks on his knees, like he always is for Gavin. Wouldn’t mind if Lindsay hit him or kill him (knows he deserves it), and wouldn’t mind if Michael revealed how Gavin was the submissive one. He got on his own knees and worshiped Michael. Anything for the man’s attention. Yet, he was not there when it happened. Lindsay grasped Michael and embraced him in forgiveness.

Gavin slept alone that night. 

And Gavin cannot hate her even if she is his own Babylon the Whore; his own Lucifer swallowing the fruit of knowledge; the personification of all his guilt. 

Lindsay is not to blame. Lindsay is not the one who shouts, drunkenly and slovenly, laughs bitter, basically screeches, “Gavin? I’d never kiss Gavin. I’m sorry I’m straight! I guess I’d touch his dick, but seriously, I would never kiss Gavin.”

Gavin feels ghosts of kisses press his lips. Wonders how much he’d have to throw up right now to bleach out the memories of Michael’s lips. God, he wishes he had been the one drinking beer and not milk. Feels it slosh in his stomach. Wonders what the fans will say now. Maybe give up on the idea of Michael being in love with him. Maybe Gavin will give up, too. 

Gavin would take anything. Michael dressed up as Judas of Iscariot, kisses him in betrayal, let Lindsay and Meg crucify him. Michael, drunk and high off the glow of pregnancy, even looking at his lips. Gavin would take any pitiful crumb of affection Michael could spare and feel full.

And Meg—

It’s not that he doesn’t love Meg. He does. In some way. Not sure where Meg ends and Michael begins.

There’s a line of lust and love. Gavin isn’t sure where he falls. If he is capable of any emotion; perhaps he is a robot and everything he does is not of his own control. Maybe Meg is the epitome of a comfortable life. Married to a woman who loves him and who does not speak of his betrayal of adultery. If one day it could be Meg announcing a child. Imagining her holding a baby makes Gavin’s stomach protest. It would be a perfect life, yet that is not who Gavin is.

Gavin wants Michael. In the end, it has always been Michael. Gavin saying, “Let’s start a family together. Let’s get married.” Wonders if it would be okay with him. Michael coos over a baby that has not even begun to take form, and it bursts Gavin’s heart. He wants to be able to say, _It’s our baby. Mavin baby. Michael and I are going to be parents._

That is not his life. Michael is married. Michael is having a child. Lindsay is a kind woman, far too kind, it is a vice. They were made for each other—perfect picture walking down the aisle, perfect picture of a sonogram, perfect life, perfect family.

Lindsay is the ideal image of a wife.

And Gavin is for Michael’s lust, in the dark, in bathrooms, anywhere that no one could see them. Gavin is not good enough to be shown off. Michael will kiss down his neck, expect Gavin to kiss down his chest, but when the camera goes on, they are just best friends.

Michael would never kiss Gavin.


End file.
